<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Clinging to affection by schrijverr</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28299414">Clinging to affection</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/schrijverr/pseuds/schrijverr'>schrijverr</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Mechanisms (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Jonny d'Ville Gets A Hug, Self-Esteem Issues, Soft Jonny d'Ville, Touch-Starved, brian is a good friend</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-11 01:08:55</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,185</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28299414</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/schrijverr/pseuds/schrijverr</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After a comment from Tim, Jonny worries that he’s too clingy. He avoids the rest, but when he has to fix a part of the ship with Brian they get locked in. Brian talks to him and gives him a hug.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Drumbot Brian &amp; Jonny d'Ville</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>105</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Clinging to affection</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/AssyEr/gifts">AssyEr</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>We do gifts on Christmas Eve, so even if it's currently 00:07, so technically Christmas, I'm giving this to you now. Merry Christmas, sunshine! (Yes, I am never letting this go, you're stuck with it now ;p) Hope you like it!</p><p>You can also find this work on my tumblr, which is @schrijverr as well. Hope you pop in an say hi cause I'd love to talk to y'all</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jonny had been feeling kind of bad lately. Nothing special had happened to set it off, he had just woken up a few days ago and life had said ‘no &lt;3’ and it hadn’t gone away.</p><p>What he really needed right now was a good and grounding hug. He knew that, but he also knew that he wasn’t going to ask for it. Asking for a hug was scary and he was too tough for that anyway, someone had to offer.</p><p>But even if he wasn’t going to ask, he was going to make it obvious. It was a sort of unspoken thing, he would sit in the common room alone and if anyone saw they would most likely give him a hug.</p><p>Today he had only sat there for twenty minutes when Ivy happened to walk by. When she saw him, she did a quick double-take and scanned his face, before sitting down and wrapping an arm around his shoulders.</p><p>For a moment he tried to keep his pride, but then he sagged into the touch and curled up around her, while she cracked open the book she had been carrying.</p><p>Jonny lay there for a long while, the knot of badness in his chest uncoiling as the peace settled over him.</p><p>After a while Ashes had walked in and took in the scene. It didn’t happen often, not anymore, but they could still recognize the tense slump of Jonnys shoulders. So, they sat down nearby and when Ivy left, she gently levered Jonny onto them.</p><p>While he was practically lying on them, some of the others trickled in. Brian and Marius were discussing if Marius tactics were a horrifying offense to doctors or not and Raphaella had mixed herself into the discussion as well.</p><p>Then Tim came in and saw. Tim and Jonny always had a relation that mostly existed out of jabs or trashtalk and he hadn’t been here when these bad moments had been most frequent. This is why the first thing out of his mouth was: “You comfortable there, octokitten?”</p><p>Immediately Jonny straightened up and glared at Tim, as he spat: “I’m not an octokitten.”</p><p>You wouldn't see it when you looked at him, but the moment the words had left Tims lips, a pit formed in Jonnys stomach. It opened up and seemed to suck all the warmth and relaxation into it and swallow it, leaving Jonny cold and alone.</p><p>“Whatever you say suction cup arms.” Tim grinned, not noticing how Jonny had shriveled up on the inside.</p><p>Jonny rolled his eyes at him, then stalked off. Throwing a “I hate you” over his shoulder.</p><p>He didn’t see how Ashes frowned at his tense back, before they set Tims coat on fire without him noticing, after which they walked after Jonny.</p><p>They came to face with a locked door. They knew that they could blow it open if they wanted to, but they doubted that was a good idea. After a knock, there was no reaction and they cursed Tim under their breath, walking back to shoot him.</p><p>Meanwhile, Jonny was lying on his bed. He had ignored the knock, he didn’t want to face anyone, it was embarrassing. He was embarrassing.</p><p>Tim had instantly seen how fucking clingy he was and Ashes just put up with him because they always had, same went for Ivy. And Brian and Marius and Raphaella had all been there and seen how embarrassingly clingy he was and they would find it weird. </p><p>And oh god why had he even allowed that!</p><p>It was stupid, so stupid. He didn’t need a hug, he was just being a baby about it. </p><p>He made a solution not to allow that anymore, but first the others would have to forget this ever happened. He reasoned with himself that if he just avoided them for long enough, they would have to forget eventually.</p><p>With that master plan in mind, he turned around in his bed and pulled the sheets over his head, allowing himself to wallow some more.</p><p>He managed to lie there for three whole days, before knocks became too frequent on his door for him to keep it up, but that didn’t mean he wanted to talk to anyone. So, he grabbed food and left, only showing his face for a few seconds, but mostly kept himself busy elsewhere.</p><p>This peace, alas, was not meant to last long either. It was not even a full month later that the ship was attacked. </p><p>Nothing major, of course, just a crew of other space pirates, who thought the small crew of the Aurora would be an easy target. Lets say it didn’t work out well for them and Jonny got some nice snacks, but they did manage to land a hit on Aurora.</p><p>Nastya assured them that she would be able to fix it quite easily, however she did also request that the others helped to get her girlfriend up and running in a short time-span.</p><p>Jonny had hoped he would be able to do tasks alone, but Nastya had said that it was better to go in pairs, just in case something went wrong and your body had to be fished out of fire or mysterious liquids to regenerate. So Jonny was assigned to fix one of the wings of the ship with Brian.</p><p>The wings were not really wings, but small extrusions on either side where a lot of wiring and computing and other science stuff Jonny didn’t get was stored.</p><p>They were accessible through a door and the space to operate in wasn’t that big, meaning Jonny wouldn't be able to hide from Brian, who would almost definitely ask how he was doing and if everything was alright.</p><p>With a heavy heart he trudged after Brian and started to work on the wiring with help from the manual Nastya had given him. Beside him Brian was doing the same.</p><p>After a while Brian took a deep breath, but before he could say anything, Jonny looked at him and said: “No.”</p><p>Brian looked startled for a second, then an understanding look came over his face that made Jonny skin crawl as he replied: “I just wanted to ask if you needed anything.”</p><p>Jonny glared at him suspiciously, then turned away without giving Brian an answer.</p><p>They returned to working in silence once more, but Jonny knew the time was ticking. If he wanted to get out before Brian would attempt a conversation again, he would have to hurry. His movements sped up and he spend less time inspecting the manual in the hope of getting his task done as soon as possible.</p><p>It proved to be to his determent.</p><p>He pulled on the wires quickly connecting them to each other or ports as he tried to make sense of whatever this part of the ship was supposed to do, when he accidentally pulled too hard and one of the wires broke.</p><p>His head snapped up as he scanned the wing to see what that did and if they were going to die from it. His eyes fell on the door just as it slid close and locked itself with a click. He cursed.</p><p>“What’s wrong? What happened?” Brian asked when he heard.</p><p>“I accidentally broke the door.” Jonny managed through gritted teeth, “We’re locked in.”</p><p>“Oh, that’s unfortunate.” Brian commented.</p><p>“Really? Is that all you have to say?” Jonny exclaimed, “We’re locked in a small part of the ship where almost no one ever comes while everyone is busy and your response is ‘that’s unfortunate’?”</p><p>Brian looked taken aback by his outburst and a nub of guilt formed in Jonnys chest as Brian replied: “I didn’t want to make a fuss, you already seem so stressed lately and it’s not like it’s your fault.”</p><p>Jonny worried his lip between his teeth as a few seconds passed by in silence, then Jonny softly admitted: “I don’t know how to fix it.”</p><p>“Would you mind if I took a look at it?” Brian asked.</p><p>Jonny shook his head and Brian moved into the spot next to him while he inspected the wiring, after a moment he concluded: “I don’t think it is fixable, we need someone to open it from the outside.”</p><p>With a sigh, Jonny dropped to the floor and laid down. Brian looked at him for a second, before shrugging and joining him. Jonny cracked open one eye and asked: “Don’t you have shit to finish? That had been my last wire.”</p><p>“Oh, I’ve been done for a few minutes already, but I’d thought I’d keep you company. You’ve been so lonely these past few weeks, I missed you hanging around.” Brian told him.</p><p>“That’s a fucking lie.” it was out of Jonnys mouth before he had thought about it.</p><p>“I can’t lie right now, first off. And second off, why would you think I’d lie about that, that would be mean and untrue.” Brian said, sounding actually upset at the thought.</p><p>The nub of guilt grew as Jonny noticed the switch on MJE on Brians neck. With a slight flush coloring his cheeks he shrugged: “I didn’t mean it like that.”</p><p>“Well, how did you mean it then?” Brian asked, seeing right through his bullshit.</p><p>“Uhh...” Jonny blanked.</p><p>“That’s what I thought.” Brian said gently, “I know you hate talking about feelings, but I have eyes, I know there is something wrong and now we have time, so please talking to me. What is going on in that head of yours?”</p><p>“Why do you even care?” Jonny tried to avoid answering, moving a bit away as to not seem clingy.</p><p>“Because you’re my friend and you’re always there for me and I like hanging around you?” Brian answered so sincerely like it was nothing, turning his head to look Jonny in the eyes.</p><p>Without his permission some tears sprung into Jonnys eyes as he quickly swallowed and looked away. It was so relieving to hear and he knew Brian couldn't lie, but still a part of him didn’t really believe him, he was annoying and clingy.</p><p>He said that last part: “But I’m clingy.”</p><p>The understanding look from earlier returned, but it didn’t make Jonny as uncomfortable, just relieved when Brian pulled him into a hug and said: “You’re not clingy at all, Jonny. If anything, I’d wish you would let people hug you more. What made you think that?”</p><p>Jonnys shoulders shook as he cried slightly. He thought it was embarrassing that this was enough to set him off, but the bad feeling that had caused him to go look for a hug in the first place hadn’t left with the comment and all he had wanted was someone to tell him it was alright and give him a bit of affection. So when it finally happened, it was too much in a good way.</p><p>Brian didn’t seem to mind, he just held Jonny until he could make noise again: “It’s just- and then- you know? When- and I couldn't- with Tim- and-”</p><p>Jonny sniffled unable to explain more than that incoherent blubbering, but Brian made the connection to the comment of Tim a while back. He sighed: “Oh, Jonny, he didn’t mean it like that, no one thinks that you’re clingy.”</p><p>“How- how do you know?” Jonny asked, teary eyed and pouty.</p><p>“Because Ashes set him on fire over it and Marius scolded him until he sheepishly admitted that had not been his intention at all, only to be shot by Ashes when they got back from following you to make sure you were alright.” Brian told him.</p><p>“Wha- what?” Jonny voice was full of disbelief, “Why?”</p><p>Brian squeezed him tight and said: “Because everyone here cares for you and they don’t want you to not get affection. It was just light teasing, he didn’t know you would be so hurt by it or he wouldn't have said it.”</p><p>“Oh.” was all Jonny could reply to that, heart lighter even if he couldn't fully believe everything Brian told him. He burrowed his face closer to Brians chest and let it rest there.</p><p>They laid there for a long while, until Jonny had drifted off. </p><p>Then the door beeped and slid open once more as Nastya stuck her head in confused and asked: “What happened here, why aren’t you back yet? Aurora is running again.”</p><p>“Jonny accidentally locked the door on us.” Brian explained as he got up, carrying the sleeping First Mate in a bridal-carry.</p><p>When Nastya saw the dried tear tracks on Jonnys face she nodded and ask: “Did you have a good talk with him?”</p><p>“I think he got something out of it, yes.” Brian confirmed.</p><p>“Good.” </p><p>They brought him to bed and gently tucked him in. Tomorrow he would wake and come to breakfast and stay. He would joke around and allow Tim to sling an arm around him and whisper a small apology, before Ashes dragged him off to play cards.</p><p>But that was tomorrow, for now he could rest and hug the pillow close to his chest.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>PSA: if you need a hug, ask for a hug, please. I know it can suck, but you’re not weak for wanting one, affection isn’t weird to want.</p><p>Did Nastya and Brian semi-set this up? … Maybe *eyes looking emoji*</p><p>Comments make my day and Kudos are awesome, thanks so much for leaving them!!</p><p>Happy holidays everyone! Hope you have a grand time :D &lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>